Permission to Remarry
I guess you could call it his approval to go ahead. My fifteen year old teen had never verbalized this in any way in the past whatsoever. It came out of the blue, asking me if I was planning on getting married again. I said I don’t know, and that it was not a concern for me at this time. I said I had not met anyone I wanted to marry and that I wasn’t worried about it. He told me that it was fine with him if I remarried, as long as I understood that he wouldn’t be calling the man “dad”. I said I don’t expect him to. I said I would want the man to be a positive person in his life but not someone trying to replace his father.
I said that I cannot imagine having a blended family, that it seems too much of a stretch to envision another man in our lives, living in our home, expecting my children to adjust to someone else. I know it is done all the time, but it makes me cringe to imagine trying to blend one person, let alone a family. It probably makes men cringe also. If I had been a teen, I don’t know if I would have wanted some new person wandering around our home, expecting me to listen and build a relationship with him. He would have had to be someone very special I think. I also do not feel like starting over with a new family, so if you ever hear that I remarried and took on a family with the man, you can believe he will be someone who knocked me over with his qualities so overwhelmingly, that life just couldn’t be as sweet anymore without him in it.
I’m not worried about being a widow for the rest of my life. I’m worried about being married and losing that person again. Maybe he’ll lose me first, but maybe I’ll have to go through widowhood again, and at this point, the thought scares me more then blended families. I haven’t developed that courage yet.
